How to manage change

Time to move on: Time for new learning, time to get unstuck, time for a new job. Here are some techniques to help create and manage change in a brand new, shiny decade.

As a qualified coach when I’m working with someone there are 3 tools that have the biggest impact.

One is to listen, really listen, two is to ask powerful questions that create number three, a shift. This shift emerging often involves rich moments of silence between myself and the person I’m working with – and this is when the magic happens.

Listen. Question. Shift.

Chances are you might be listening really hard to yourself trying to figure stuff out, asking yourself a whole bunch of questions and trying to create a shift.

Here are 3 ways to do just that.

These techniques involve reframing.

Reframing packs a punch. It builds resiliency, which is always a good thing.

Reframing also improves our ability to think and analyze data, solve problems more quickly and it enhances our creativity.

Here’s how you can reframe.

Watch your language

We use millions of words in our life time (approx 860 million). Some support us and some screw with us. Ditch the doom and gloom and boost the sunny and positive words.

Be conscious of how you speak to yourself not just other people. The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we’ll ever have.

Think about that for a moment.

And it's highly likely that if you don’t treat yourself well then how you let others treat you will be pretty damn bleak.

I know this can be easier said than done: some of us have an internal critic that is truly thriving and loves jumping up and down on our mood in four inch heels. The result? Every. Jump. Hurts.

To strengthen your self-awareness consider how you treat a friend. Think of the tone of voice you use and the supportive things you say and how you offer patience and understanding. Apply that same approach to yourself.

Alternatively, you could enlist a good friend to help you watch your language when you talk about yourself. If your friend catches you putting yourself down or being unkind ask them to call you out on this: of course, in a nice, supportive way.

Get creative

Lovers of colored crayons, rejoice! This one is for you. Get cozy at the kitchen table, choose some tunes, grab a coffee and get ready to create…

Your happy task is to make a mindmap and capture all the great things that happened as a result of something grim. Charting your successes in this creative way forms your own personal biography of how you turned something dismal into something delightful (and there are lots of benefits to mindmapping).

Identify the feelings you experienced and the challenges you met. And also clarify what you did to move through these to a sunnier place. Once you’ve done this exercise, circle all the actions you took to get to a better place.

The stuff in these circles are skills, my friend. Your skills and they took you out of the gloom into the great.

Why am I telling you this?

Because if you are stuck in a rut right now and things feel just crappy you have the power to move beyond this.

You do.

You have coloured crayon proof right in front of you that you’ve done it before. You can do it again.

Pocket power

This little trick is a secret power that makes me smile. It packs a punch and it’s tiny.

Heard of Pavlov? This is similar.

So, what is it? Well, it could be anything you like. You get to choose. But personally, I’d recommend something small, personal and portable.

A stone or a shell works well, perhaps something pretty you’ve collected from the beach on a walk. Or a small piece of quartz or a silly novelty from a Christmas cracker. The important thing is that when you clasp this in your pocket it triggers you to stop and recall past successes you’ve had.

This reminds you how resilient you are and that you can overcome tough times.

And this magic power is with you throughout the day.

It’s something you should come across regularly, keep it in your pocket, or somewhere that you often see, for example in a purse or wallet.

So when you need a boost throughout your day and a reminder to reframe to a more positive view, it’s there for you: during a quite moment at your desk, on a walk around the block, or if you’re lucky to be near a park, while you sit watching the ducks in your lunch hour.

So, to recap. Here's what to do to get your head in the right space for change:

1)   Watch your language and how you speak to yourself.

2)   Get creative and remind yourself of your own success stories through a mindmap.

3)   Use you pocket power as a reminder throughout the day to positively reframe.

Whatever the future brings these tools allow you to support yourself and create the change you want.