How to deepen your connections by showing your true colours

When we’re vulnerable and open up it increases our ability to connect with people. It develops trust. And strengthen relationships. And yet it can be safer to be neutral and not attract too much attention to ourselves. Here’s what a tin of white paint and a recent networking event taught me about opening up to others.

I was painting a wall in my living room the other day.

And as I opened a pot of white paint I noticed something that surprised me.

You normally think of white paint being, well… white.

Plain. Neutral. Disappear into the background stuff.

But on the inside of the rim I could see the finest ring of dark, charcoal grey. And then a deep blue and then, actually, a yellow.

And it got me thinking.

White paint is made up of lots of things.

And before all of these things are shmooshed together (technical term) they aren’t white at all.

But afterwards these individual things all come together to look like white paint.

The same is true of you. Which brings me neatly onto my networking event.

The benefits of being yourself

We were put into online break up groups and asked to share two truths and a lie about yourselves.

Well, the things I learned about people in my group, and the conversations we shared!

Suddenly people had more colour, more depth and more detail. All because they’d shared something personal.

Now that might have been what happened to them last weekend, five years ago or when they were 11, but the effect was that we started to learn more about one another and deepen connections.

I learned about people’s success and failures, their adventures and their dreams, and what made them who they are.

Little things. And big things.

And so on the face of it, at the beginning of the event people were like the can of white paint.

But after sharing emotions, powerful events, listening to one another and quite a bit of a laughter, connections were made.

When you're connecting with others, professionally and personally, what "range of colours" are you showing?

Or are you playing safe and people are only seeing the white paint?

Letting people see the real us shows the many different shades we are.

Yes, it makes us vulnerable.

And that can feel risky.

It can also be liberating and grounding. And build real engagement.

If you fancy exploring this subject more and seeing the real power being vulnerable has, check out the brilliant book, "Click" by the Brafman brothers.

And if you'd like to deepen your relationships with stakeholders and strengthen your connections, get in touch. I'd love to explore how I can help you get seen, heard and valued in the workplace.